Been so long since I have been here. But, things are all stirred up right now, and I would love a little reprieve, and a place to vent...uh, record some stuffs.
My beloved Grandmother passed beyond the veil on the 15th of March. What a contradiction this has been. She has been lonely and sad since Grandpa died, and I have tried to fill in the gaps as I could. But, I am not him, and my efforts were appreciated, but not enough. After a life filled with love, happiness, and tons of fun, she was gradually declining in recent years. The last couple of months she was like a child and had to be watched constantly. It was sad to see her so confused. I told everyone that I didn't care who she forgot, as long as she didn't forget me. :D. Tuesday, the 13th, she sat down to breakfast. Eggs. Not her favorite, but Mom didn't have any yogurt for her graham cracker and yogurt favorite. She asked for ketchup (I am sure to douse the flavor of the eggs) and took a bite. She sneezed, and slumped forward. Mom came running, trying to rouse her, and yelled for Dad to call 911. She sort of just rolled to the floor, and mom put a pillow under her head.
She had a massive stroke, and her last words were asking for ketchup. She was in the hospital for 40 hours, totally unresponsive. The doctor said she was basically brain dead, and the bishop said she was in training for her next assignment. I liked his answer better. She had a DNR on file, so she quietly laid there. She wanted her hand held. If we let go of it, it would flutter around in the air in total distress. I happily sat at her side, and held her hand. I whispered in her ear how much I loved her. I reminded her that Grandpa and Arik were waiting not to mention her parents, 13 siblings, and many friends. I sang her her favorite hymns. I had to be careful what I chose because every time I sang, people would cry. The first day, the dr gave me ice chips to give her. This was before we realized she had no swallow left. I told her I would rather give her a fudgecicle. Her eyes flew open. Dr says it was an involutary response, but I say it was in response to the idea of a chocolate treat. She loved her chocolate.
Thursday morning, at 2:30, she was gasping. The RN asked mom if she wanted to give Grandma a shot to relax her a little. Mom said yes, and as he pushed the plunger, Grandma sighed, and died. I came over immediately. All the local daughters and granddaughters were called, and I was given the honor of the family prayer. I don't remember what I said, only that I felt such a peace and I knew how much Grandma loved me.
The funeral was beautiful. I wanted to participate, but it was Mom's decision, and she felt I had done enough, and could sit this one out. I agreed, but would have been happy either way. My mom, my aunt, two RS ladies and I dressed Grandma on Monday. She looked so beautiful, and at peace. On Tuesday, the day of the service, Mom slipped Grandpa's necklace in the casket. Grandma wasnever without it, and we wanted her to have it. I also slipped a hershey bar in among the folds of her temple dress. Who knows if they have chocolate in Heaven?? I wanted her prepared.
While in the hospital, Dad was complaining his legs hurt. He was certain it was the lipitor. He could hardly walk. At the funeral he was in the wheelchair. After being examined, it was determined that he had two bulging discs in his back. He must have surgery immediately. ON Tuesday. Mom said, I can't, I am burying my mother on Tuesday. So Dad was admitted wednesday, with the surgery planned for Thursday. But, they had to wean him off the blood thinners. The chance of a stroke during surgery is high, and the doctor is afraid Dad will be paralyzed. Thursday the surgery was delayed due to the blood still too thin. Friday, yesterday, they had a hard time regulating his heartbeat, so a pacemaker was implanted today. Tomorrow is surgery. Mom is skipping church, which she NEVER does. I am in the nursery, so I have to be there. But, after church I plan on heading back to the hospital.
Dad is in good spirits. Which is unusual for the crankiest guy I know. :D But, the nurses are taking excellent care of him. Keep him in your prayers. :D
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Oh, Pam! You and your family have been through so much!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you were there for your Grandma's last days. So sweet. I hope when my time comes that someone I love will do the same for me.
I am glad that your dad's surgery went well. How scary that must have been.
You and yours are in my prayers.