Saturday, June 4, 2011


After two and a half years, I ran across a disc of Arik's funeral. I had a really hard time with his passing. He died three weeks after Christmas, and I was still mad at him for how rude he was on Christmas Day. I never had the chance to fix it before he died. I never got the chance to remind him how much I loved him, and even when he was rude, I still loved him. I never got the chance.

So when I found the disc, I saw it as a chance to maybe put a salve on my sore heart. I still miss the little punk. We celebrated Kailey's graduation...and I noticed him not there. We should have been celebrating his graduation, too. He and Kailey did everything like that together. Anyway, I put the disc in, and settled back to watch it.

Now I wish I hadn't. I was so upset. My aunt filmed it, and my uncle put it to music. Stills in the RS room with the casket and the different family members. At the gravesite with friends and family members. Back to the church for lunch with friends and family. None of my family, or my kids. One distance shot of me and Tyler. That was it. Tons of shots of her kids and grandkids. One of Kailey. More of her grandkids. Tons of shots of Debbie and Patty. Yes, it had been years since we had seen them. But, whose choice was that?? The only time they called was for money, and never to ask how Arik was. Oh, but after the funeral they sure spewed some nasty stuff at Mom and Dad. Very few pics of my parents. Again, more pics of their grandkids.

I just threw the stupid thing away. Who's funeral was it anyway??

I think I need to buy a decent camera and make sure we get the pictures we want.

1 comment:

  1. (hugs)
    Think of it more as their family film of Arik's funeral than of Arik's funeral itself. People tend to focus on their own without really thinking about excluding or including. Try not to take it personally.

    You do need a camera!

    When I see family pictures I never know whether to hope I was included or not. I want to be loved and wanted, but when I do see pictures of me, I seriously cringe and regret them. But my kids look great! They should be in all the pictures!