The wedding is in three months. Yikes. We have the building locked down, and the bishop has promised not to go anywhere that weekend. We have a second choice, just in case the same thing that happened to Bill and I doesn't happen again. Our bishop's mom died days before our wedding leaving us scrambling at the last minute for someone. LOL. Some guy I had never seen before, or since, married us. Our second choice was just released as bishop, so I am not sure he can even do a wedding...anyone know??
The wedding is at 10 am. We are inviting 75 people. Brittany only wants certain cousins. I am stepping out of that one. We are having a brunch/luncheon. For some reason, Britt wants quiche. She hates eggs, yet knows this is an egg pie. ?? Tyler has never had it either. Why try something out on your wedding meal?? So, I enlisted the help of the RS. We will make chicken salad for croissants, and egg casseroles with fruit and muffins to round it out. I guess there is a sister in the ward who makes a wonderful quiche, so I will have her make one just for Brittany and Tyler. The rest of us can eat everything else. Bill thinks this is rude, but I don't. You only (hopefully) get married once, and it is their day. Anyone have an issue, deal with it. :D
Speaking of issues....Tyler's mom refuses to come to the wedding, and wants us to put on a second ceremony just for her. Um, no. She does not want to be there with Tyler's dad. I think it is her guilt speaking for she cheated on him, and then left with her boyfriend while he was trying to deal with the cheating. He is very pleasant, and only wished the best for her. Why she is causing drama is beyond me. I told Brittany that if her future FIL was abusive or something, then I could see it. So, she either comes, or she doesn't. But she will miss the opportunity to see her only son married. I don't get the mindset that would think that was okay.
Also, neither Tyler nor Brittany have a job. Ugh. Bill and I are picking up most of the tab. I am so glad the church, and the bishop are free. With the RS help on food, that is a big deal too. But, what about her dress?? The bridesmaids dresses?? They should pay themselves, but Kailey and Cameryn are both bridesmaids. The boys need black pants, black shirts and red ties. If I have the money, I need a dress too. Maybe I can salvage my black skirt (the one I lost weight, and can't wear anymore) and buy a red blouse.
I just see the dollar signs clicking. I want to contact Tyler's mom and ask if she can do anything to help financially. Is that tacky?? Her daughter, Ty's sister, is a bridesmaid, too.
On top of the Cory stress, the Kailey stress, normal everyday stresses of a big family, and a floundering business, I have wedding stresses. Can you just run to Vegas like everyone else?? LOL. Aunt Michele knows a great Elvis impersonator who will marry you....just a thought.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A Laurel and Hardy experience
Service is so ingrained, that when the opportunity arises, you don't even think of it as service til later. Someone needs help, and you do what you can to help. Simple, yes?? sometimes. LOL.
Back story: I have been sick all week. I am feeling better, but I have a raspy hacking cough. I took supplies to alleviate any coughing spells I might have. Armed with water, dayquil, and hard candies, I thought I took sufficient precautions to be quiet in Sacrament Meeting. I wish I had remembered to turn my phone off... I wanted to stay home, but felt really strong I should go.
During Sunday School I remembered that I had forgotten the attendance binders at home. I debated running home (15 minutes each way) or send Bill. I sent Bill. He should have been back right about the time RS started, and no one would have been the wiser. Yeah. It sounds good in theory. I was pacing, not daring to go in unless I had them. Yes, I know, one week without checking the little box is not going to mess up my numbers. Waiting....waiting....where could he be?? I went in finally without them. Confessed during opening song that I did not have them. Soon I heard my name really loudly whispered. LOL. I have a guess who that was, and turned to see Bill at the door. Finally. I went out, got the binders, and ran the one to Primary. On my way back the other way, Ellen came out of the RS room. Leaving is so not like her, and as she has been looking frail lately, I was immediately worried. I asked her what was wrong, and she gasped out that she was out of air, and was heading to the church phone to call her husband. We still have those?? I thought they took them all out at the hands of the deacons, and since cell phones were so prevalent. I told her Bill was up the hall, she could sit down, and we would use his phone to call her husband to come get her.
I find Bill, and hand Ellen the phone. Here is where I really drop the ball. I walk away...AWAY from a lady gasping for air, and who has never used a cell phone. Can you top THAT idiocy?? By this time Ellen is a gray/green color, and we decide to drive her home rather than waiting for husband to get there, and taking double the time. I am thinking every moment is precious at this point. We probably should have just called 911. Duh.
Our car is dirty. When isn't it?? Five kids, all their stuff. I keep thinking I need to clean it, so hop up in there Ellen. Ugh. We get her in, and of course, our A/C hasn't worked in months. The car is hot, airless, and I am loading her walker in the other side. She is gasping for the window to be rolled down, and I told Bill to drive so we can get some air in her face. I am so scared. Oh, during all this, she is upset she has lost her hymnal with her name in it. She needs it this week as she is planning her funeral, and wants to make sure John G has the songs he needs. What??!!! I hurriedly asked the Bishop if we might steal/borrow one, so she doesn't get agitated about it.
On the way I tried to call her husband, only to find out that between Wells Fargo calling during Sacrament Meeting, and now, T-Mobil has suspended our service. Really?? I call 611 and go thru the automated steps to pay the bill and get service. It is imperitive we get a hold of her husband, Bob, because he has the clicker to open the gate. Service on, call again, no answer from Bob. We pull up in front of her house, I am in a panic, and it is locked up like Fort Knox, and she says No wonder!! Bob is not home!! Gate clicker is in house. I am looking to see how possible scaling her fence would be when she says the walk in gate is unlocked. Her yard looks like the White house lawn at this point, and I honestly can't see how she is going to walk up to the house. She tells me that the car would fit thru the walk in gate so I jump out to open it. Bill drives in, across her grass, and up to the front door. She is worried about getting her stuff out of our car, and I am more concerned getting her in the house and hooked up to her perma tank. NOW. We finally get in and she gets her nebula in, and I can finally breathe myself. By this point she is shaking and I make her sit down by me.As her color comes back, she stops shaking, and it is Ellen again. I wanted to cry in relief.
I am grateful we were able to help. I am sure someone else would not have had the issues that we did. LOL. But, at the end of the day, Ellen is okay, and I hope she will be around for a long time. I love that lady, with her sharp wit, and her gentle spirit.
Back story: I have been sick all week. I am feeling better, but I have a raspy hacking cough. I took supplies to alleviate any coughing spells I might have. Armed with water, dayquil, and hard candies, I thought I took sufficient precautions to be quiet in Sacrament Meeting. I wish I had remembered to turn my phone off... I wanted to stay home, but felt really strong I should go.
During Sunday School I remembered that I had forgotten the attendance binders at home. I debated running home (15 minutes each way) or send Bill. I sent Bill. He should have been back right about the time RS started, and no one would have been the wiser. Yeah. It sounds good in theory. I was pacing, not daring to go in unless I had them. Yes, I know, one week without checking the little box is not going to mess up my numbers. Waiting....waiting....where could he be?? I went in finally without them. Confessed during opening song that I did not have them. Soon I heard my name really loudly whispered. LOL. I have a guess who that was, and turned to see Bill at the door. Finally. I went out, got the binders, and ran the one to Primary. On my way back the other way, Ellen came out of the RS room. Leaving is so not like her, and as she has been looking frail lately, I was immediately worried. I asked her what was wrong, and she gasped out that she was out of air, and was heading to the church phone to call her husband. We still have those?? I thought they took them all out at the hands of the deacons, and since cell phones were so prevalent. I told her Bill was up the hall, she could sit down, and we would use his phone to call her husband to come get her.
I find Bill, and hand Ellen the phone. Here is where I really drop the ball. I walk away...AWAY from a lady gasping for air, and who has never used a cell phone. Can you top THAT idiocy?? By this time Ellen is a gray/green color, and we decide to drive her home rather than waiting for husband to get there, and taking double the time. I am thinking every moment is precious at this point. We probably should have just called 911. Duh.
Our car is dirty. When isn't it?? Five kids, all their stuff. I keep thinking I need to clean it, so hop up in there Ellen. Ugh. We get her in, and of course, our A/C hasn't worked in months. The car is hot, airless, and I am loading her walker in the other side. She is gasping for the window to be rolled down, and I told Bill to drive so we can get some air in her face. I am so scared. Oh, during all this, she is upset she has lost her hymnal with her name in it. She needs it this week as she is planning her funeral, and wants to make sure John G has the songs he needs. What??!!! I hurriedly asked the Bishop if we might steal/borrow one, so she doesn't get agitated about it.
On the way I tried to call her husband, only to find out that between Wells Fargo calling during Sacrament Meeting, and now, T-Mobil has suspended our service. Really?? I call 611 and go thru the automated steps to pay the bill and get service. It is imperitive we get a hold of her husband, Bob, because he has the clicker to open the gate. Service on, call again, no answer from Bob. We pull up in front of her house, I am in a panic, and it is locked up like Fort Knox, and she says No wonder!! Bob is not home!! Gate clicker is in house. I am looking to see how possible scaling her fence would be when she says the walk in gate is unlocked. Her yard looks like the White house lawn at this point, and I honestly can't see how she is going to walk up to the house. She tells me that the car would fit thru the walk in gate so I jump out to open it. Bill drives in, across her grass, and up to the front door. She is worried about getting her stuff out of our car, and I am more concerned getting her in the house and hooked up to her perma tank. NOW. We finally get in and she gets her nebula in, and I can finally breathe myself. By this point she is shaking and I make her sit down by me.As her color comes back, she stops shaking, and it is Ellen again. I wanted to cry in relief.
I am grateful we were able to help. I am sure someone else would not have had the issues that we did. LOL. But, at the end of the day, Ellen is okay, and I hope she will be around for a long time. I love that lady, with her sharp wit, and her gentle spirit.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Drama....again..
Sometimes I feel as I am not learning what I should be learning, so I go thru the same trials over and over. And over. Maybe this time it really wasn't me, as Bill keeps trying to convince me of.
Kailey has always been my most difficult child. She has confessed a few times that she really wishes she were an only child...or at least the oldest, or if she has to, the youngest. But #3 out of 7 just sucks for her. Well, since I didn't plan it that way, and I honestly did not set out to ruin her life, I just basically ignored her complaints. She has always had a short temper, and flinging hurtful insults to me, or her dad, or the other kids just never seemed to bother her.
We took her phone away last month as I was tired of her being so snotty to me over everything. This is the only way to get any results out of her and we usually enjoy a few weeks of pleasant behavior in exchange for her phone back. This time, it didn't happen that way. She asked for it, cried for it, demanded it, and tried guilt tactics with me. You'll be happy to hear I was not swayed by any of it and kept reminding her that all it took to get her phone back was to be respectful, and helpful. She accused me of expecting perfection, and I told her a phone is a privilige, not a right. She also thought what I asked was too much, and wanted me to lower the bar. A few times she yelled that to get respect you must give it. I honestly don't know how she figured we weren't respecting her. So, no effort was made to give it back, and I got to a point where I didn't care. I started counting the days til she was 18 and I could demand she conform or find somewhere else to live. Sad, eh?
Last Wednesday (two weeks tomorrow) we went to Disneyland, and decided to rent a hotel room and stay til Thursday. We rented a suite that sleeps 8 and got all we needed together. At the last minute, Kailey decided she didn't want to go with us. This was fine with me as we were still dealing with her bad attitude, and more fun would be had if we didn't have to walk over eggshells the whole trip. We had a good two days, with only one call saying 1) she regretted not coming and could we come get her (no.)and she accidently dialed 911 and the cops came to the door. Nice.
So, we get home and the first thing we notice is she had busted our bedroom door in. She blamed the dog. But, the inner workings of the knob were bent, attesting to her repeated kicks to get in. We had nothing in there but our personal things. We don't keep money in the house. I noticed my shampoo missing. She has been demanding decent shampoo and I don't feel the need to buy her anything but Suave since she refuses to help, or to be nice. I had bought myself some Pantene, and hid it in a Suave bottle, and the extra hid under my sink behind stuff. She found it and took it. I went into her room, and asked for it back. She got all indignant that I had lied to her. Oh, no!! I LIED!! I told her I didn't have a choice, because if you had known you would have taken it JUST LIKE YOU DID. Imagine that. She started yelling about the whole thing and I didn't give it the attention she felt it deserved. I told her to knock it off, that I didn't want to hear it. She then yelled "I hate YOU!! I hate living here!! I hate everyone in this house!!!" I said then "There is the door" By this time I had had it. I lost my temper, and I regret saying that.
She marched down the stairs yelling, and I told her to get some shoes on. At this point she wasn't going to listen to anything I said and left barefoot. She walked to her friends house two miles away. That is true stubbornness.
This was Friday afternoon, and I knew friend's mother would not let her stay long. We expected her to come home Sunday morning, while we were in church. Bill stayed home, just in case, and sure enough she showed up. He tried to talk to her, but she was still in a mood and refused to acknowledge anything he said. She left, and showed up later that night, with her BFF from Riverside in tow. She had called her and said I busted in during her shower and demanded she get her stuff and get out, out of nowhere. Really?? But it got what she wanted. She has wanted to live with this family for years, and has asked repeatedly, to the mom saying no. She even asked when we moved down here last year, and the mom told her she was too much trouble. What happened in a year to change her mind?? When we talked to the mom, she said that she couldn't bear the thought of Kailey out on the street. Um, we never kicked her out. I was mad over her total disrespect, but she still has a home.
Kailey still refuses to talk to us. She is wearing her righteous indignation like a cloak and has gone around our old ward telling everyone what lousy parents we are. BTDT. I am upset again, just like last year when ex friend thought she could do better with Kailey than I could, and it degenerated into hatred and name calling in five weeks. Now, BFF's mom thinks she can save Kailey. Save her from what?? A life of indulgence and no chores?? Oh, please. Give it your best shot, I am betting you will kick her out once the honeymoon is over. That is why I made sure she knew that Kailey still has a home here. Things will be different, but she has a home.
Which leads me to a pet peeve of mine. NO adult should ever interfere with parents and their child if child is safe, and not in any danger. It is not your business how I deal with my disrespectful, spoiled daughter. Pet peeve #2 Our family distress is not for you to tell everyone you see. I did not appreciate your eight year old telling me he knew Kailey ran away, and was never coming home. She did not 'run away', she moved out.
Kailey has always been my most difficult child. She has confessed a few times that she really wishes she were an only child...or at least the oldest, or if she has to, the youngest. But #3 out of 7 just sucks for her. Well, since I didn't plan it that way, and I honestly did not set out to ruin her life, I just basically ignored her complaints. She has always had a short temper, and flinging hurtful insults to me, or her dad, or the other kids just never seemed to bother her.
We took her phone away last month as I was tired of her being so snotty to me over everything. This is the only way to get any results out of her and we usually enjoy a few weeks of pleasant behavior in exchange for her phone back. This time, it didn't happen that way. She asked for it, cried for it, demanded it, and tried guilt tactics with me. You'll be happy to hear I was not swayed by any of it and kept reminding her that all it took to get her phone back was to be respectful, and helpful. She accused me of expecting perfection, and I told her a phone is a privilige, not a right. She also thought what I asked was too much, and wanted me to lower the bar. A few times she yelled that to get respect you must give it. I honestly don't know how she figured we weren't respecting her. So, no effort was made to give it back, and I got to a point where I didn't care. I started counting the days til she was 18 and I could demand she conform or find somewhere else to live. Sad, eh?
Last Wednesday (two weeks tomorrow) we went to Disneyland, and decided to rent a hotel room and stay til Thursday. We rented a suite that sleeps 8 and got all we needed together. At the last minute, Kailey decided she didn't want to go with us. This was fine with me as we were still dealing with her bad attitude, and more fun would be had if we didn't have to walk over eggshells the whole trip. We had a good two days, with only one call saying 1) she regretted not coming and could we come get her (no.)and she accidently dialed 911 and the cops came to the door. Nice.
So, we get home and the first thing we notice is she had busted our bedroom door in. She blamed the dog. But, the inner workings of the knob were bent, attesting to her repeated kicks to get in. We had nothing in there but our personal things. We don't keep money in the house. I noticed my shampoo missing. She has been demanding decent shampoo and I don't feel the need to buy her anything but Suave since she refuses to help, or to be nice. I had bought myself some Pantene, and hid it in a Suave bottle, and the extra hid under my sink behind stuff. She found it and took it. I went into her room, and asked for it back. She got all indignant that I had lied to her. Oh, no!! I LIED!! I told her I didn't have a choice, because if you had known you would have taken it JUST LIKE YOU DID. Imagine that. She started yelling about the whole thing and I didn't give it the attention she felt it deserved. I told her to knock it off, that I didn't want to hear it. She then yelled "I hate YOU!! I hate living here!! I hate everyone in this house!!!" I said then "There is the door" By this time I had had it. I lost my temper, and I regret saying that.
She marched down the stairs yelling, and I told her to get some shoes on. At this point she wasn't going to listen to anything I said and left barefoot. She walked to her friends house two miles away. That is true stubbornness.
This was Friday afternoon, and I knew friend's mother would not let her stay long. We expected her to come home Sunday morning, while we were in church. Bill stayed home, just in case, and sure enough she showed up. He tried to talk to her, but she was still in a mood and refused to acknowledge anything he said. She left, and showed up later that night, with her BFF from Riverside in tow. She had called her and said I busted in during her shower and demanded she get her stuff and get out, out of nowhere. Really?? But it got what she wanted. She has wanted to live with this family for years, and has asked repeatedly, to the mom saying no. She even asked when we moved down here last year, and the mom told her she was too much trouble. What happened in a year to change her mind?? When we talked to the mom, she said that she couldn't bear the thought of Kailey out on the street. Um, we never kicked her out. I was mad over her total disrespect, but she still has a home.
Kailey still refuses to talk to us. She is wearing her righteous indignation like a cloak and has gone around our old ward telling everyone what lousy parents we are. BTDT. I am upset again, just like last year when ex friend thought she could do better with Kailey than I could, and it degenerated into hatred and name calling in five weeks. Now, BFF's mom thinks she can save Kailey. Save her from what?? A life of indulgence and no chores?? Oh, please. Give it your best shot, I am betting you will kick her out once the honeymoon is over. That is why I made sure she knew that Kailey still has a home here. Things will be different, but she has a home.
Which leads me to a pet peeve of mine. NO adult should ever interfere with parents and their child if child is safe, and not in any danger. It is not your business how I deal with my disrespectful, spoiled daughter. Pet peeve #2 Our family distress is not for you to tell everyone you see. I did not appreciate your eight year old telling me he knew Kailey ran away, and was never coming home. She did not 'run away', she moved out.
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